How to Develop Understanding in a Relationship
Dear lovers! As one friend of mine said, “smart people do not complain, and if they complain, then they do so in court.” In other words, if your partner is not completely satisfied with your life, do not spoil your life either for yourself or for them and do not spend it on a person who is “not the only one” for you; the most precious thing you have is your time.
Nobody will return it to you. If you love each other, but periodic scandals leave more and more scars on your heart, you must fight. Fight yourself for your love.
Relationships can be compared to a two-way ladder.
Positive ladder of marriage Imagine that you are standing at the very bottom, and here you meet your future spouse – you take a step forward. Falling in love is another step, and you then start trusting each other, get closer and closer, and then you understand that you are holding hands with them or her at the very top of this ladder.
Negative ladder of marriage There are things that you never need to say. There is no reason and excuse for why one of you has decided to say this. Your attitude is kind and caring, and you in a disagreement, angry at the first, and you called them, for example, an idiot. You deliberately humiliate them by saying this. And if they do not react particularly negatively to this, in the next disagreement, you will again allow yourself to do the same to them. We are all human, and we always try to adapt our behavior to the people around us, even if we don’t really notice it. Do not allow either your partner or yourself to cross the line. If you said something that wasn’t worth saying – apologize, be sincere about it. Tell your partner that you did not have the right to say that, and you will never tell them that again. Sincerity and remorse heal very deep wounds. And if your wounds are unhealable, then there is no reason not to move on and meet European girls online.
Start a constructive conversation, understand what were your own mistakes, and what shortcomings are to blame on your partner. Accept it that you behaved stupidly, and try to correct everything that you have already done. In a relationship, a couple can give many chances to each other. Sometimes it even seems that you can swear and say anything to each other, anyway, we will make peace tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. But life is not a movie where everything just ends well. Relationships need constant work. And so we begin to correct the mistakes of the past.
Finding a way out of a conflict
The first thing you need to do is tune in to the conversation. Try to pacify your temperament and stop competing with each other. Your main task at this stage of rehabilitation is again, as at the beginning of a relationship, to accept and understand each other.
Stop changing your partner – it’s impossible. Each of us has our own shortcomings and small weaknesses. No need to be silent about your grievances. This way, they are going to accumulate and develop into a wave of negativity, which is sure to, sooner or later, sink your boat of love. You should talk like two people who respect each other and want to maintain their valuable relationship.
A conversation will be successful if you show your interlocutor that you are peacefully disposed to a pleasant and calm conversation. To do this, tell your partner that you want to value and respect each other more often so that your relationship is more harmonious. This will help both of you to find yourself on the same page, you want to make positive changes in your relationships.
The main thing in your conversation is the solution to the problems that have accumulated, and peaceful reconciliation. To do this, do not rush to cry about your feelings, do not interrupt, speak slowly, not succumbing to emotions, clearly expressing the reason for your grievances and frustrations.
If the situation starts to get out of hand, do not raise your voice or tone. This will only worsen your conversation. Separate into different rooms for a couple of minutes, until you calm down.
Next, it’s worth having a constructive conversation. Nobody interrupts anyone and listens attentively. Talk as if you were locked in an apartment for a couple of days, and you have nowhere to go. Proceed to the next question only when you discussed the previous one. This type of conversation is the most successful.
Let’s play a game
If you want to develop understanding in a relationship, you should play a game in which you change roles. Believe me, thanks to this game you will see how really difficult it is not only for you but also for your partner (look at yourself from the outside). After this, admit to each other that it is really not easy for both of you and apologize for your past behavior.